Sunday, October 12, 2008

I am DIFFERENT....

Especially my father points out that I am different....but I already know it. He is very critical of "ME" not being Republican, not having one with the boys, hanging out with granola people, being sensitive, caring about social injustice, going out into the wilderness alone, not communicating with him, avoiding politics with him, liking black people, being a youth leader, belonging to the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance, driving an X-Terra....and much more. I KNOW I AM DIFFERENT. It has something to do with SSA. I see it as a spiritual gift. Reflecting back...I took care of people when they needed care. Friends sacking out at my place when they had been kicked out of their homes, fishing trips to just get away, listening, not much advising as I didn't have the answers of justice & why me & so on. When no one else would coach..I would. When no one else would take them on a fifty mile hike..I would. When no one else would buy them a shake..I would. Is this my purpose? Is this a gift...a spiritual gift. Does the Lord need people like me? IS THIS WHY I HAVE SSA? The downside is the Aunts, "Why aren't you married"? "You shouldn't be doing that. You should be looking for a wife." "Why can't you be like #@*&"? Then there is the evil eye. The unconscious signal that someone knows. " You better keep your distance from my kids." " Why is he single...I wonder"

6 comments:

October Rising said...

i think it is both a blessing and a curse. life would present numerous problems if we were all the same. so, i think our differences exist for a divine reason.

Robert said...

That's awesome that you're able to think of it as a gift sometimes. I totally agree that having a tendency to being sensitive, caring, and atune to others and interested in their welfare is a great blessing.

I rode my bike down to Phoenix, AZ and back last week(from Provo). On the way down I took the 89 and on the way back, I went through Vegas. I thought about you in southern UT. Where are you down there?

The down side thoughts are so horrible. The associations people automatically assign to gays, the blame, even the pity. I just hope to keep it from my family as long as possible. But, then, isn't it inevitable that they'll eventually figure it out? Well, I guess we cross that bridge when we come to it. It's good to see a new post. Have a good one man.

A CROW'S VIEW said...

I don't think anything you listed about being different has anything to do with SGA. I think that you have to be your own person and if you want to make the Gospel part of your life you need to find a way to do that within the confides of it. But that doesn't mean you can't be and do the things you feel driven to do as long as they don't break the commandments. I applaud that. Well all but the republican thing, LOL! I've found that when we put God's will first we are always right.

Z i n j said...

Rising of the October....thanks for believing that my weirdness is divine. Thats Kool. We are all potential contributors but the curse part seems to get the best of us all. Thanks for sharing.

Robert...I'm on Highway 89. Were you that blur I saw go by? LOL...slow down man. That's heck of a weekend ride. Like I've said before.."that bridge will never come for me" I take it your father isn't however the ol'wind burned rancher that I have. Stay kool my friend.

Crow's view...its good we have your perspective as someone down the road a bit. You encourage us to keep the gospel as our vision. There are obvious blessing by doing so. My only question is "what if you had never found your sharing companion & family...thus had been celibate all these years without someone to share your life experience. Would your perspective be any different?

Alan said...

Attitude is everything. I think yours is just right. I agree with October Rising. Find and build on your own gifts. They are all God-given. Marching to a different drummer can be hard, but you seem to have the strength for it. So don't stop. The only one to whom you'll ultimately have to account for your life is the one who gave you those gifts in the first place. Nobody else's opinion will matter then.

KJP said...

Yeah, been there, know that one!

The real issue is what you are going to do with what you got.

If you choose to go the way of the world, you do yourself and all others a dis-service. If you take the hard road, walk in faith and not in sin, all will be the better for it around you.

Not an easy situation but it can be done...

TUNES

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