Tuesday, September 9, 2008

DISAPPOINTMENT


I was disappointed to find this STRONG statement UNDER THE TOPIC " What every Bishop should know about SSA" I totally disaggree with this assessment. Have I been on some other planet?
(click on the title to link to the source)

How does a man develop SSA feelings?
The root of this problem usually lies in childhood. Although each person's situation may be different, many follow a common thread. The man usually feels that he was abandoned by his father, either physically, emotionally or both. This abandonment occurred at a very young age, usually before the age of three. When a child is first born, he or she does not recognize himself as separate from his mother. He cries if she is out of sight. Eventually the child comes to recognize that he is separate from his mother. But a boy has another transition to make. He must also recognize that not only is he separate from his mother, he is different from his mother and like his father. If there is no male figure to identify with, the child may not develop his gender identity properly. This alone is usually not enough to result in SSA.

8 comments:

Sean said...

I absolutely disagree with that statement too! Where did you find it?

D. said...

I am a little bit upset about this statement... Hmmmm.

Z i n j said...

Sean or D.
I'm curious now if this is common belief that SSA comes from deranged minds rather than from genetic abberation.? Since you 2 have traffic & I don't post it on your blog. By the way...I don't remember any childhood drama other than being pecked by a Turkey.

Robert said...

Ok, here are the two paragraphs that were on the site. Skip them if you don't have the time to read them...

How does a man develop SSA feelings?
The root of this problem usually lies in childhood. Although each person's situation may be different, many follow a common thread. The man usually feels that he was abandoned by his father, either physically, emotionally or both. This abandonment occurred at a very young age, usually before the age of three. When a child is first born, he or she does not recognize himself as separate from his mother. He cries if she is out of sight. Eventually the child comes to recognize that he is separate from his mother. But a boy has another transition to make. He must also recognize that not only is he separate from his mother, he is different from his mother and like his father. If there is no male figure to identify with, the child may not develop his gender identity properly. This alone is usually not enough to result in SSA. In addition, the male role models that the child eventually encounters may be abusive -- emotionally, physically and/or sexually. This abuse causes the child to reject the "maleness" of the male role model. So in addition to not having established his own gender identify, he rejects what he perceives as male attributes. It is important to recognize that it is not so much what happened to the child that causes him to develop this way, but how he chose to react to what happened to him. This choice was made at a very young age, long before the age of accountability, and was made at a subconscious level. Nevertheless, it was a choice. Sometimes his mother encourages the boy to reject his father with statements like, "You don't want to grow up to be like him, do you?"
The SSA feelings then, are a reparative drive, an effort to find and repair that which is missing. At the unconscious level, the boy recognizes that something is missing in him, something that other boys or men have. He both wants what they have and is afraid of them. In addition, he wants desperately to be accepted by his father, which includes other men who become surrogate fathers for him. He wants to feel loved by them -- the love he never felt from his father. There is a myth that most men living the homosexual life style believe. It is that they will find the one man who will make them complete, who will love them unconditionally, and somehow bond with them to make them whole. Because they are afraid of real men, they usually develop what is known as defensive detachment. They remain aloof so that they will not be injured again. So ironically they are detached from the very thing they most want in their life. They are typically not assertive and don't make their needs known but at the same time they will lament the fact that no one is there to meet their needs. They will conclude that they just aren't good enough or "worth less" than the attention of others.

Who is this guy? An LDS Sigmund F__ing Freud? Wow, I had to lift my feet off the ground there was so much B__S___. WOW, I'm laughing at this. The whole page is this one person's bent view of ssa men. Some of the stuff that he writes is true for some people but he writes it to bishops as an all-encompassing explaination for all who have ssa (or sga if you differentiate). Wow...I haven't seen this much balogney in a long time.

I've read some stuff that aims to explain ssa origination...I liked some of it, especially that from a Dr. Jeffery Robinson. I personally think that it's not so much genetically determined. I think that (and I don't claim this to be for all ssa) many have a personality that makes them more prone to be emotionally and sexually honed by life experiences to have ssa. What I mean is that the personality traits (they may include a certain softness, strong ability for empathy, huge desire to deeply love those they are close to, and/or frequent and intense introspection) along with experiences bring about ssa. These personality traits are the part that is "who I am" and the experiences are the encounters with other boys and, in some cases of abuse, older men that develope very early the ssa that becomes so ingrained with every aspect of me that I would want to say that ssa is "who I am."

I'm no genius so I'm sure there are some errors in this line of explaination but that's kinda what I'm thinking as to the why of ssa for me.

TheAwfulTruth said...

where did you find this?

Z i n j said...

Hi Robert,
Ya got me....I not sure where you're coming from?
Robert said"...
I personally think that it's not so much genetically determined... many have a personality that makes them more prone to be emotionally and sexually honed by life experiences to have ssa. What I mean is that the personality traits (they may include a certain softness, strong ability for empathy, huge desire to deeply love those they are close to, and/or frequent and intense introspection) along with experiences bring about ssa. These personality traits are the part that is "who I am"

Wow!!...so boys that are sensitive will all have SSA?
Boys then are not supposed to be sensitive by nature? Sensitivity is then not a human trait. Being Christ-like is a SSA thing?

Ya gotta help me through this. I was also puzzled when you said...
in some cases of abuse, older men that develope very early the ssa that becomes so ingrained with every aspect of me that I would want to say that ssa is "who I am."

that too has me sratchin

thanks Robert for trying to help

Robert said...

Sorry man. I was in a hurry when I was typing that. What I was meaning is that I think a big part of me (I can only speak for what I've experienced) being ssa is these very sensitive personality traits. For sure, not all (or even many) sensitive boys will be ssa, but I just think that that was definately a contributing factor for me.

As far as the older men comment, the sentence was getting at my thought that this sensitive personality, along with certain early memorable experiences might bring about ssa in some cases. The older men comment refered to young boys that are abused by older men or boys (I work in the UT state prison and see sex offenders often, so I see how much this happens...the abuse).

Sorry for the confusing remarks. I know that there are a million different reasons that someone is ssa...I don't mean to indicate that I think there is one explaination. I guess I was just making some off-the-hand comments on the linked article.

Hope you're having a good day.

Robert

Kengo Biddles said...

This is waaay chronologically out of order, but I must speak up...

I was involved with this group for a time; I've somewhat dropped off the radar. It's from www.ldsssa.org.

It was written by a brother according to his best understanding of his own situation. I'm sure it's not perfect, but, read in the entirety is a step in the right direction.

TUNES

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