
PART 1 OF 6
SOMETHINGS can NEVER be told...NAKED but hidden. A MONSTER haunts & Chases me. There is NO ESCAPE. In the WILD I am FREE to be me. NO judgement. NO temptations. NO agony. A BYU "stud"... (student) .... athlete type....MACHO hiding in his own SKIN..... a SKINWALKER on campus. This is my X-FILE!!







Especially my father points out that I am different....but I already know it. He is very critical of "ME" not being Republican, not having one with the boys, hanging out with granola people, being sensitive, caring about social injustice, going out into the wilderness alone, not communicating with him, avoiding politics with him, liking black people, being a youth leader, belonging to the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance, driving an X-Terra....and much more. I KNOW I AM DIFFERENT. It has something to do with SSA. I see it as a spiritual gift. Reflecting back...I took care of people when they needed care. Friends sacking out at my place when they had been kicked out of their homes, fishing trips to just get away, listening, not much advising as I didn't have the answers of justice & why me & so on. When no one else would coach..I would. When no one else would take them on a fifty mile hike..I would. When no one else would buy them a shake..I would. Is this my purpose? Is this a gift...a spiritual gift. Does the Lord need people like me? IS THIS WHY I HAVE SSA? The downside is the Aunts, "Why aren't you married"? "You shouldn't be doing that. You should be looking for a wife." "Why can't you be like #@*&"? Then there is the evil eye. The unconscious signal that someone knows. " You better keep your distance from my kids." " Why is he single...I wonder"