I need a little SUN...or a REALITY CHECK

So lets say I follow the church...and wait for that appropriate Soul mate that so many of you have found... In the mean time.... Life goes forward. I live life to the fullest (almost). I live vicariously through my family and friends as I see them have families? Am I allowed to find some close strait attachments? I think I should do what the prophet says not for the prophet but rather for me. What I mean is that I think I will be blessed for being obedient. I however really believe the church is struggling to find their own way on this issue. I really think we need a prophet with enough courage to take this to the Lord. The Lord does not automaticly solve our problems without our engagement, we are however told not to "kick against the Pricks" (Acts 26:14) So how does change happen if we are not allowed to contend? Alan tells us a little Revolution is a good thing.To Quote-George Washington: "Never lose sight of the goodness of our cause. Difficulties are not insurmountable. Perseverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages." In the mean time I'm obedient but not exactly being nice about it. When I see so many kool people leave I get angry cause like these are very kool people. The kind you want in your community. I won't bring up my friend Cody cause that is still a sensitive issue that I may never get past. So in the mean time... I live the good life catching some Rays watching my nieces and nephews grow up. It is Kool. What I really want to know is this...Is there a dedicated SSA single saint out here who has endured the trial of time and hope? As I think of all you out there in the MoHoFamily....your either finding that soul mate in or out of the church...the rest are like me waiting on deck. I feel like a pinch hitter. Sittin on the bench wait'in my turn. I'm a little afraid of that. I don't want to become bitter and fade into the shadows. Yet I know it's a TEST and that we have so much to give because we are who we are. Is it enough? Is there joy in this place?
Are there enough red rocks to keep me searching? The pioneers were something else. What faith they had. They did the impossible. After reading "the Hole in the Rock"...I shame at my impatience. My gluttony. They worked together to overcome incredulous obstacles. They helped each other make that next RISE on the hill top. They shared..made room...included everyone....much like the MoHoFamily. I wonder...will I climb that last rise?

The BROKEN TRAIL of a Mormon SKINWALKER

A Mormon SKINWALKER is different than the tradition Navajo SKINWALKER. In the dark world of Navajoland...SKINWALKERS abound--out of harmony in pursuit of evil deeds. These SHAPESHIFTERS "yee nadlooshii"cloak themselves in the SKIN of beasts and lurk in the night. These unNATURAL creatures cannot mimic the natural gait of the animal they cling under. Many a Mormon Missionary out on the Rez have experienced the lurking of these creatures on their nightly rounds. Navajo reluctantly talk of such things as to evoke an evilness their way. Navajo mythology or perhaps religious tradition has a dark side. The challenge to is to keep in harmony with the natural world. Shaman or medicine men chant healing rituals like the BLESSINGWAY[Hózhójí] to repair the evil of witches and darkness. Witches abound, humans gone to the dark side, appear as everyday people but secretly shoot poisens (bone fragments) into unsuspecting victims. Sickness or mental disunion results calling for healing and rituals. Local witches convene in an underground room littered with corpses. At these meetings they may make a sand-paintings of the new victim with colored ash and prepare corpse powder with a male victim's flesh. They filch something of the victims then chant and bury the object to induce distortion. Bad hair in the morning could be a sign (no jokes)..

A Mormon SKINWALKER is what I am. Something different. I have the appearance as the typical BYU stud. Inside the SKIN...however lurks a troubled soul...hidden secrets not spoken of in Mormon culture. Disharmony, dischord, disunion....finding my way in the shadows. Not accepted for who I am, not rejected because of Christ. My ONLY escape is NATURE. Here I find peace, harmony and non-judgement. Friends even follow. I have family. Activity and beauty overwhelm all superficialness. We swim naked in stone potholes in slot canyons...water falls off the red lips of cliffs and wash away the sins. The coldness or extreme heat keeps the SSA at bay. Naked boys dry off on sandstone with the piercing sun. Harmony, peace and non-judgment. Here I escape....my BLESSING WAY ritual and place of healing.


Culture and land and religion collide. One cannot hide in the rocks forever. The aged hard father hands worn and blistered rebukes all change. He did it the hard way...the only way....not unlike his father and his father who founded this place. They dug those first ditches.. They created a paradise in the wilderness knowing that the land does not give easily. Their dreams came to pass. My dream is different. My field to plow is different. It does not fit the cycle of time. I cannot tell him of this. I must follow his footsteps first. The soul remains empty and unsettled.... the place is good. Witches abound and shoot their poisen. Culture collides with religion. Religion collides with my soul. Red Rocks heal. Christ heals. The Cycle of life goes forward.I RIDE THE BROKEN TRAIL with messed up hair

Hayduke strikes again

I KNOW THIS IS NOT FUNNY TO SOME but MONKEYWRENCHING is a form of PROTEST. MY HATS off to DeChristopher for his courage....

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.....SAVE OUR LANDS

STUCK between a Rock and a soft SPOT

Some of you say the most profound things. Survival kind of things. Things that make a big difference for a Latter Day Saint struggling with SSA and his place in his world. (see thought below). I've been told "I should leave my place in the world" and go where one can blend into the cityscape. Furthermore..."Admit who I really am and live healthy"...."have a real life relationship" All this to avoid becoming an embittered old man. Can I have the best of both world's? Can I stay in my canyon of Red Rock huggers and be accepted? Can I ride the range with my homies and be accepted? Can I blend into a small Utah ward with a boy on my arm? Can I attend family reunions without a family? Can I be lonely and healthy?. Will the Bishop give me callings with the young men? I don't know where all this is going. I'm just asking?. Do I stay and inherit the ranch and do all those thing that make me who I am...Or do abandon it for that cement wasteland yet finding myself cuddled at night? Earth intersects with culture. This I can't escape.

This survival THOUGHT ......... was SHARED once by one of you>>>

"Maybe we’re not supposed to fix every broken thing in life. Maybe, we’re supposed to do the most possible good with what we have. Maybe, these broken things are the very same things that will enable us to achieve greater levels of service that would otherwise be impossible. Maybe, we’re not all supposed to have the “traditional” life here...or maybe it’ll just happen a little later on. And along with that, what can we hope to become without learning to deny or control our passions…ourselves?"

THIS SUSTAINS ME....FOR NOW

I recently helped my homies bring in the Summer Range cattle.... then off to the desert we went. Campfire language was not without bashing of that which I belong. Not intended as evil but made in light humor. Somewhat silent I sat...yet not angry. I should be! Since most here were in the marriage process....it would have been too obvious for the celibate one to counter an opinion,,, Fire Roasted lamb, dutch oven potatoes, and peach Cobbler, root beer and a little poker...I countered more with tolerance speech and some prop 8 discussion hoping to bring up doctrine. Most of these fella's are LDS and church goers but not all. Hard workers, ranchers, coal miners, hunters, and my buddies. Coyotes ranted in the distance. The desert breeze warned of coming Winter. Even here in the quiet of the desert.. Homophobia abounds. The church has made this worse. Compassion is absent. Misconceptions run rampant. Here I belong. WHY?....

BLESSINGS

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face
and are truly thankful...you are blessed because the
majority can, but most do not.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture,
or the pangs of starvation ... you are ahead
of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of
harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more
blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on
your back, a roof overhead and a place to
sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and
spare change in a dish someplace...you are among the
top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married...
you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even
touch them on the shoulder...you are blessed because
you can offer healing touch.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over two
billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and pass this
along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

I KNOW WE CAN'T CLAIM TO HAVE ALL THE BLESSINGS ABOVE
YET A FEW ARE LIKELY TO BE ON OUR LIST
AND
I FOR CAN ADD A NEW BLESSING TO MY LIST
A BLESSING UNTIL RECENTLY I NEVER KNEW WAS OUT THERE
YOU MY FRIENDS......

ALAN AND BRAVEONE AND CADENCE AND ROBERT AND ANDY AND MICHAEL AND DUCK AND CHASE AND OCTOBER RISING AND ABELARD AND D, AND SEAN AND JAKE AND ROMULUS AND SCOTT AND LOVE AND RYAN AND BROR AND MIKE AND HIDDEN AND MARK AND DANISH BOY AND CROW AND ALL THE OTHERS

...WHO FACE EACH NEW DAY WITH COURAGE AND CONVICTION ....WHO WILLINGLY SHARE THEIR LIVES AND WISDOW....WHO GIVE US SUPPORT AND NEW COURAGE
MERRY CHRISTMAS

SCATTERBRAIN STUFF

I COULDN'T RESIST....CLICK on SCATTERBRAIN STUFF for BIGOTRY.... LDS style
http://beetlebabee.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/ho⋅mo⋅phobe-n/#comment-1592

YOU ALL remind me of FRIENDS from days gone by ...

THOSE were the days.......I'm a sentimental slob, thats why I like HISTORY. YOU ALL remind me of those CAMPFIRE friendships